Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Why does this man look very worried?

This man represents a Corporate Alien Banker. He's worried because he's got too many people that can't pay back their mortgages and credit card loans. He tries to improve his bottom line with atm fees, overdraft fees, and assorted other—sometimes hidden—fees. It seems that his meager several million dollar salary just can't compensate for the magnitude of his problems.

It's the duty of the working class to help him out. If you don't have a credit card get one, or maybe two or three. If you have one use it often. You can use your credit to buy the latest iPhone, or maybe a huge wide-screen HDTV, or buy your kids everything television tells them they need. You can charge a two week trip to the Bahamas. It's needed to save your sanity after working several months for your corporate alien employer.

And after you charge a lot, you're sure to be low on money, so your checks will bounce and you'll get a lot of overdraft fees. This will make our banker very happy, even if you have to go hungry.

The above banker adheres to the theory that greed is good, and that it drives all forms of progress. So do other corporate aliens. That's one reason the middle class will soon be driven out of existence.


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Why is this dog Howling?

This is Linux the Dog. He was named after the PC Operating System of superior design. He's howling because he is very angry at corporate aliens.

  • A Major Veterinary Hospital says he'd be better off if he were neutered.
  • Chase, a leading bank that accepted government bailout money, refused to give his master enough credit to buy him his favorite treats.
  • To top it all off, Monsanto, a company noted for contaminating the world with genetically modified crops, wanted to patent his genes.

How can we expect corporate aliens to treat people fairly? They can't even treat dogs fairly. Luckily Linux was able to get a job. He now works as Chief of Security at


Friday, September 03, 2010

Why Does This Old Man Need To Be Active?

This picture was taken from a herb/vitamin commercial. This man's heart is in great shape because he takes these natural medications. So he stays younger longer. He needs to stay as active as possible, because his retirement plans have fallen apart and his government pension is inadequate. He must continue to work for corporate aliens for the rest of his life.

He is part of a corporate alien team of extremely productive people. While many of his fellow employees tweet on Twitter and gossip on Facebook, he is laboring dilligently to upgrade all his electronics to work in HD with 1080p resolution.